This transcript was originally posted at Farscape Ally's site, which has since disappeared from the web. Kalliope was gracious enough to allow Terra Firma to archive it with the other transcripts.


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FARSCAPE

" FARSCAPE: UNDRESSED "

Presented by:
Ben Browder & Claudia Black



With appearances by:

Anthony Simcoe
Virginia Hey
and
Gigi Edgley


This transcript provided by: Kalliope
Kalliope hails from Warsaw ( that'd be in Poland ). Kat is a non-english speaker engaging in the difficult and challenging enterprise of producing transcripts in english. I think she's doin' a fantantic job! Drop her an email and let her know how much you appreciate her efforts!
With contributions from: FarscapeAlly
Suggestions for corrections/revisions/expansions are, as always, gratefully accepted.

Thanks to $al-Man for providing some edits to the transcript.

OPENING PRODUCTION CREDITS:
Created by:Rockne S. O'Bannon
Consulting Producer:Sue Milliken
Co-Producer:Andrew Prowse
Line Producer:Lesley Parker
Supervising Producer:Justin Monjo
Executive Producer:Richard Manning
Produced by:Anthony Winley
Written by:David Kemper, Richard Manning, Justin Monjo, Lily Taylor
Directed by:Andrew Prowse


CLOSING PRODUCTION CREDITS:
Executive Producer:David Kemper
Executive Producers:Juliet Blake
Robert Halmi, Jr.
Brian Henson
Executive Consultant:Rockne S. O'Bannon
Music By:Guy Gross
Director of Photography:Kim Batterham
Voice of Rygel:Jonathan Hardy
Voice of Pilot:Lani Tupu
Puppeteers:Sean Masterson
Tim Mieville
Mat McCoy
Mario Halouvas
Roslyn Dades
Terry Ryan
Virginia Wevee
Producers:Lesley Seebold
Leonie Cowan
Production Executive:Robert E. Wozniak
Production Manager:Sam Thompson
First Assistant Director:Jeremy Grogan
Editor:Simon Martin
Clip Editor:Christian Anderson
Music Editor:Jay Stewart
Make-up Artists:Sheldon Wade
Jo Morrison - Jack
Gaffer:Richard Curtis
Key Grip:Gary Burdett
Sound Recordist:David Glassner
Post Production Supervisor:Deborah Peart
Special Project Co-Coordinator:Noelleen Westcombe
Post Production Co-Coordinator:Brett McManus
Assistant Editors:Matt Town
Honor Northam
Supervising Sound Editor:David White
Sound Mixer:Peter Purcell
Sound Editor:Angus Robertson
Hallmark Entertainment
The Jim Henson Company
A Presentation of SCI FI
TRANSCRIPT BEGINS


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Opening clips, approximately one every 4 seconds, to the accompanyment of some serious Farscape music, increasing pace to one about every 2 seconds by the final 'kind words from the critics'...

PREMIERE: An American Astronaut 'jailed' by escaping alien prisoners.
John: "I'm from a planet called 'Earth'... I'm human."

LATP1: Exterior CGI, arrival on the Royal Planet.

TGAS: John removes EV Helmet, the better to view the 'baby'.

Exterior CGI, transport pod approaches planet surface.

DNAMS:CGI, Namtar's 'big ball of wonders'.

TWWW: Interrupted while packing her bags, Aeryn faces John

PREMIERE: D'Argo gives John the 'I won't hurt you 'less you mess with me' eye.

PREMIERE: Moya circles the Commerce Planet, initiating the 'slingshot maneuver'.



"Four out of four stars. Watch this show."
- NEW YORK POST




PIYW: Trader's Outpost 'shatters'.

CGI, Prowler approaches planet.

FLAX: Aeryn and John suffer from "too much pure oxygen".

Pilot works his console.

DNAMS: Zhaan 'touches' Delvia.



"Far out TV... ...fantastic." - TV GUIDE




BBBTTF: The Ilanic vessel gets sucked into a singularity.

TGIFA: EXT. CGI, Sykarian's move into the fields of Tannot.

AHR: John glimpses his past, courtesy of curious aliens.

Chiana.

Scorpius.

TOBM: Aeryn shoots some stuff.

PKTG: John keeps the panels apart.

LGM1: EXT. CGI, John & Aeryn arrive on planet in the prowler.



"Sly comedy... ...genuine drama... ...an original vision."
- NEW YORK DAILY NEWS




DR: Rygel gives John and Durka a 'blast'.

TGAS: D'Argo kisses 'Lo'laan'.

TTBRC: John takes Aeryn for a ride in the Farscape One... or is the other way around?

TTLG: On Yellow Moya, John tries to 'get a grip'.

LATP2: Zhaan rejoices at Moya's 'reprieve' from the Builders.

TWWW: Aeryn consoles Pilot.

TWWW: Aeryn.



"...smart, funny, exciting, touching..." - NEWSDAY




OOTM: CGI, A close call with a Halosian vessel.

TGAS: Moya gives D'Argo a good 'zap' for messin' with her 'stuff'.

WGFA: 'Aeryn' saves the day.

PIYW: D'Argo 'falls' for Chiana.

TTBRC: EXT. CGI, A crippled Farscape module comes in for a landing.

LATP1: Zhaan in full flight.

THM: Crais gets a 'taste' of the chair.

LATP2: EXT CGI, planetary defense grid surrounds a 'hostile' cargo vessel.



"...imaginative stories, bizarre aliens and sparkling dialogue..."
- BOSTON HERALD





PREMIERE: EXT CGI, over Earth, the Farscape module launches, beginning it's mission to expand the reach of humankind in space ( hey, it worked! )

Chiana & Rygel

DR: CGI, Another close call, this time with a Nebari vessel.

TOBM: EXT CGI, Transport Pod arrives on planet.

DNAMS: The de-evolution of Namtar.

DR: Moya 'burps', Durka loses.

TOBM: Maldis 'deals' with Aeryn and D'Argo.

PREMIERE: EXT. CGI, Planet surface.

TOBM: Maldis 'deals' with Aeryn and D'Argo.

BBBTTF: John begins a long tradition of 'hittin' the puppet'.

TOBM: Zhaan 'breaks through', to deal with Maldis.

DNAMS: D'Argo tries diplomacy... on Rygel.

DNAMS: EXT CGI, Moya orbits Namtar's planet.

LATP2: CGI/Screen FX, John does a walk on the wild side.

PREMIERE: Moya Starbursts ( and captures my heart ).

CDM: John Crichton, crackin' up...
John: "Whoo! Ha! Have I got your attention now?!"

I'd say that's a "definate yes" as clips end over typical Season 1 scroll and sound fx of the 'Farscape' title, followed by 'stamp' fx of subtitle: UNDRESSED.

END FARSCAPE CLIPS//


Ben Browder, looking incredibly sexy in a single breasted dark blue suit and tie, gorgeously accented by a neon blue shirt, strides toward camera from stage left across the set of 'Command', speaking to us as opening credits roll.



Ben Browder:
 Hi, my name is Ben Browder and I'd like to welcome you to this special presentation: "Farscape... what the frell is that?". Now, some of you may be aware that Farscape is our attempt to entertain you with something a bit out of the ordinary. But that may be all that you know about us, and that's why we made this special. It's a crash course primer on Farscape. For those of you who don't know the show but who may plan on watching our season premiere, in about, oh... say, ah... 57 minutes. So, I'm coming to you live, at least at the time that we shot this, from one of our sets... in beautiful Sydney, Australia, which is where Farscape is filmed. Grab your pens and pencils and come with me.

Ben, crosses 'Command', to the strategy table, where a large screen color tv perches, showing clips from "Premiere" (episode 1, season 1).



Ben Browder:
 My characters name is John Crichton. He's an astronaut and he's a test pilot. He was conducting a mission... of his own design, in the Farscape One module.

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Test flight of Farscape One starts to go wrong, the ride just a 'bit' rough.

John: "Canaveral?!"


Ben Browder:
[O.V.] Things went horribly wrong. He gets sucked through a wormhole, dumped in a distant part of the universe, right into the middle of a battle.



Prowler clips the wing of Farscape one, the prowler is sent spinning out of control, smashing to vapor against a nearby asteroid.

John: "Canaveral, I've been hit!"


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] And he ends up on a ship...



John first sights Moya.

John: "That's big.... That's really big."


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] ...a really, really big, living ship, called Moya.



The Farscape One module is pulled aboard Moya by the 'docking web'.

John: "Oh, hell.... Can anybody hear me? Canaveral?!"


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] He soon discovers Moya's populated by a band of escaping prisoners.



John's first alien sighting; Zhaan and D'Argo on Command as attacking Prowlers whiz past the forward portal.


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] There's two of them-- make that escaping 'alien' prisoners. I've always wondered what a hero should say when he meets extraterrestrial life-forms.



John sends greetings, to D'Argo & Zhaan who have just noticed his presence.

John: "Hi. My name's John... John Cri--"

John's greeting is cut off by D'Argo's hand as he trottles him, lifting him off his feet.


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Well, that wasn't it. These aliens don't like him. They don't trust him. Well, you'll get the idea.



Locked in a cell on Moya, John meets a certain Hynerian.

Rygel: "I'm Rygel the 16th, Dominar to over six hundred billion people. I don't need to talk to you."
John: "Um, I-I-I, I'm not here to harm you. Hell, I wouldn't know 'how' to harm you."
Rygel: "We can no more trust you than we can trust 'that'."

Rygel gestures to another alien locked in the cell with John.


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] "That" is another alien. That, changes everything.



The 'alien' in the cell takes off a large black helmet, revealing a 'human' female. John makes another pre-emptory introduction.

John: "Hi, uh, my name's John Cr--"

Sticking his hand out to shake, she grabs it a proceeds to beat the crap out of him. Tossing him across the room, kicks him in the gut and ends perched on his shoulders, pinning him to the floor.

Aeryn: "What is your rank and regiment? And why are you out of uniform? ... Rank and regiment, now!"

John's speechless, or breathless, or both, looking up at her from between her knees.



Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Boy meets girl.



PREMIERE CLIPS END \\



Ben Browder:
 ... girl kicks boys ass.

Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] I love my job.

Ben Browder:
 ( nice sexy smile ) Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful, the talented... Miss Claudia Black.



Ben moves aside, making way for the aforementioned beautiful, extremely talented, actress. Claudia enters frame looking extremely sexy in a beautiful long black skirt and a lacy black blouse, dark hair piled elaborately atop her head.


Claudia Black:
 Thank you. Hello. I play officer Aeryn Sun, and she is born and bred to be a soldier. The minute this one comes into her life ( indicating Ben, with a tip of her head, frame opens to a two-shot ), she's thrown out of the Peacekeepers.

Ben Browder:
 Peacekeepers-- those are the bad guys.

Claudia Black:
 Are they?

Ben Browder:
 Yes, they are.

Claudia Black:
 That's debatable.

Ben Browder:
 No, it's not.

Claudia Black:
 Let's not talk about it right now.

Ben Browder:
 No, no. We're gonna talk about D'Argo.

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T 		//RUN MISC D'ARGO CLIPS:


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] Big guy-- movie trailer voice. ET-- Extra Tentacles.



Close on D'Argo on Moya ( no ep clue ), D'Argo 'stuns' Aeryn ( Family Ties ), D'Argo 'stuns' Zhaan ( Crackers Don't Matter ), D'Argo kicks the crap outta Crais ( Family Ties ), D'Argo in quarters ( no ep clue, nice close on head shot-- tentacles )


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] And these two hit it off right from the start.



D'Argo smacks John around ( Crackers Don't Matter ):

John: Get your hands offa me!
D'Argo: ( whack! John goes down. )


On planet-- John and D'Argo 'disagree' ( Till The Blood Runs Clear ):

John: "I have no idea what goes on in that tiny little brain of yours, D'Argo!"
D'Argo: "I have no idea why you do anything that you do!"
John: "Well, catch a clue pal, 'cause I'm tired of stickin' my hand out, only to have you snap at it!"
D'Argo: "Everytime I let down my guard... you disappoint me."
John: "Sorry... I'm only human."


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] Well, it didn't happen overnight, but gradually they discovered they had things they could learn from one another. Very mature... important things.



John and D'Argo play a 'mature' game ( Family Ties ):

John: "One, two, three..."
D'Argo: ( laughing ) "Again I win!"
John: "No, I win. Paper wraps rock."
D'Argo: "Oh, paper cannot possibly beat rock."
John: "It does-- paper beats rock."
D'Argo: "Rock rips through paper."
John: "Well, D'Argo, that's not how it works. Paper beats rock."
D'Argo: "It's unrealistic!"
John: "Well, it's the rules!"


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Yeah, but they also learned that they can depend on each other for friendship and moral support.



D'Argo and John take a walk on the wild side-- in space ( Family Ties ).

D'Argo performs 'best man' duties for John ( Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think ):

D'Argo: "The time has come for farewells, my friend."
John: "Oh, this is not happening. Just feel free to wake me up any time, D'Argo."
D'Argo: "Well, now I can only speak truth, and that comes as good and bad news."
John: "All right. Give me the bad news first."
D'Argo: "The bad news is that you're married, and you must endure as a statue for 80 cycles in a strange world."
John: "What's the good news?"
D'Argo: "Chiana and I are having 'fantastic' sex."


( John & D'Argo laugh-- John is turned into a statue. )


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] Hm. Let's move on to another one of your great friendships-- Zhaan.


//ZHAAN CLIPS:




Zhaan, 'meditating' in her quarters ( Premiere, or, ah, Locket )


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] The bald, blue mama-- Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan. Tenth level Pa'u Priestess.

ZHAAN CLIPS END//



Ben Browder:
 Eight hundred years old.

Claudia Black:
 Not bad for eight hundred years 'young.'


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Zhaan meditating with stones and bells ( Mind The Baby )


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] She's spiritual...



Zhaan touching the 'image' of her home, Delvia ( DNA Mad Scientist )


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] ...but she can also get... physical.



Pulverizing Maldis with a DRD (Picture If You Will).


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] When she's not being...



Zhaan 'kills' Crichton ( Picture If You Will )


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Totally mental.



Zhaan and John do the 'unity thing' ( Rhapsody In Blue ):

Zhaan: "I have always wondered what could 'possibly' go on in there."
John: "Not a lot. ( shrugs ) I'm a guy. Come on, Zhaan... what are you afraid of?"
Zhaan: "Take my head. Our two spirits will pass into each other... until we inhabit a single consciousness.... Too late to be afraid. Move into me."


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] This is called 'Unity'-- the melding of two minds.

Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] And there's one more thing about her.



John discovers that 'one thing' ( Bone To Be Wild ):

John: "You're a plant?"
Zhaan: "Always have been, John. Why, does it bother you?"
John: "No it doesn't... bother me. I just never... suspected-- you're a vegetable?!"

( Zhaan laughs delightedly. )


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Sleek... sexy vegetable.



Zhaan 'reveals all' for a young Tavlek/Tavloid whatever ( Throne For A Loss ).

D'Argo's no fool-- or maybe he is ( Premiere ):

D'Argo: "I've heard of your kinds practices. Your... appetites."
Zhaan: "Such as?"
D'Argo: "I've... heard of something known as the ah... Fourth Sensation."
Zhaan: "I have experienced this... ( sadly ) not lately."


ZHAAN CLIPS END//



Ben Browder:
 One of the advantages to travelling around the Uncharted Territories is that we get to meet all kinds of new races and species, and sometimes we adopt one.

Claudia Black:
 If they're young, female, attractive.

Ben Browder:
 That had nothing to do with it.

Claudia Black:
 Of course not.

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Entree, Chiana ( Durka Returns )


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Her name is Chiana. If we hadn't taken her in, she would have been imprisoned by her own people, the Nebari. That's them; they're gray.

Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] She's amoral.

Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] She's underage.

Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] Sexy.



John gets to know Chi. ( Durka Returns ):

Chiana: "I don't respect authority. I do what I want... when I want to do it."
John: "Did you ever kill anyone?"
Chiana: "No."
John: "Then help me understand the collar and the cuffs."
Chiana: "Among my people you... you conform. You don't do the things I... I did."
John: "What will they do with you now?"
Chiana: "Mental cleansing into a... into an obedient zombie.


( Chi screams and kicks the cell door )

John: "Chiana!"
Chiana: "I'd rather be dead!"

Chiana falls into the jump pit ( Taking The Stone )


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] Chiana will try anything once.

Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Sometimes she lands on her feet... sometimes she lands on her ass.



To a safe, if not sane, landing ( Taking The Stone ):

John: "Chiana! You did it!"
Chiana: "I did it?!"
John: ( laughing manically )
Chiana: "I did it!"


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] But, she has kind of grown on us.



John seeks out a bit of feminine understanding/revenge ( Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss ):

John: "Yeah, I'm goin' down to the planet. You wanna hang?"


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] On some... more so than others.



John stumbles on an 'intimate moment' ( Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss ):

Chiana: ( softly ) "Yeah."
Aeryn: ( walking away in disgust ) "That's good."
John: "Cool. Can I come in?"

( Oops, JC stumbles on a private moment between D'Argo and Chiana. )

John: "Oh, oh, Jesus!"

( Stumbling out as quickly as possible. )

John: "Whoa, ho, ho! Bad time! Ah, good-good time, sorry, ah... wrong time!"

( and he BOLTS! )



CHIANA CLIPS END//




Ben Browder:
 Can we talk about you now?

Claudia Black:
 What about me?

Ben Browder:
 You're contaminated.

Claudia Black:
 Irreversibly, thanks to you.


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T		 //AERYN CLIPS:



Aeryn's in hot water along with the guys ( Premiere ):

Crais: "Exactly how much time have you spent with this human?"
John: "Not a lot. Not much at all."
Crais: "Because, as you know, Peacekeeper High Command has very clear parameters regarding contact with unclassified alien life-forms. You may have very well exceeded those parameters, Officer Sun--"
Aeryn: "No, sir..."
Crais: "--which would make you irreversibly contaminated."
Aeryn: "No, sir, I..."
Crais: "Take them away. Take them all away!"


AERYN CLIPS END//




Ben Browder:
 You see, this is why you don't want to be a Peacekeeper-- they hit people and they shoot things.

Claudia Black:
 But it's fun to shoot things.


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Aeryn takes out an arch over a fleeing John and D'Argo's head with D'Argo's Qualta Rifle ( "Throne For A Loss" ).

Aeryn blows 'everyone away' with handy pulse rifle ( "Back, and Back, and Back, to the Future" ):

John: "No! ... Oh, God!"

Aeryn takes potshots at John ( "Crackers Don't Matter" ):

Aeryn: "Thank you! So much better!"

Aeryn and John reinact the shootout at the OK Corral ( "Crackers Don't Matter" )


AERYN CLIPS END//






Ben and Claudie strut across Command, toying with each other.


Claudia Black:
 They generally don't fire at their own shipmates, though.

Ben Browder:
 Hey, technically, you fired at me first.

Claudia Black:
 Technically, you said I was fat.

Ben Browder:
 I said that you were going to be old and fat, that's different.

Claudia Black:
 Oh, that's even better, isn't it? Don't forget that I have saved your life on more than one occasion.


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John, busily 'holding the panels apart', waits impatiently for a save from Aeryn ( "PK Tech Girl" ):

John: "Aeryn!"

( Aeryn runs through the dark corridors of the Zelbinion, big gun slung over shoulder. )

John: "Come on, Aeryn... come on."

( Sheyang melts the door. )

( Sheyang spits a fireball at John. John & Gilina dive for cover. )

John: "Gilina!"

( Aeryn arrives like a heavily armed angel from above. )

Aeryn: "On the ground now!"

( And blows Sheyang to smokey bits. )

Aeryn: "Sorry about the mess."


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] And I have helped you with your attitude problem.


AERYN CLIPS END//




Claudia Black:
 ( laughs ) Oh, now I've got an attitude problem!

Ben Browder:
 You've always had an attitude problem.

Claudia Black:
 Really?


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John tries to get to know Aeryn a little better, help her with some advice... ( "Exodus From Genesis" ):

John: "We're stuck together... and as long as we are, we might as well be..."
Aeryn: "What? Family? Friends? I want neither."
John: "Well, somebody's got to be there when you need it."
Aeryn: "No offense human... but what could I possibly need from you?"
John: "Oh, I don't know... manners? Personality? Stock tips?"


Aeryn 'grills' Gilina ( "PK Tech Girl" )

Aeryn: "Chin up! Eyes locked!"





Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] John has no idea what it takes to be a soldier.






John: "Can't you see she's gonna pass out?"
Aeryn: "Clearly you do not understand. She knows exactly who we are and would consider it her duty to lie to us."
John: "Point taken. But if she drops... you're not gonna get your answers."
Aeryn: "This is my world, John... don't interfere."




Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Little Miss Tough Chick of the Universe.

Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] That's me.

AERYN CLIPS END//




Ben Browder:
 But things are different now.

Claudia Black:
 How so?

Ben Browder:
 Well... they've kissed.

Claudia Black:
 So what?

Ben Browder:
 So, they're in love.

Claudia Black:
 Have you forgotten how it ended?

Ben Browder:
 Oh, no, no, no. See, you're getting ahead of yourself. Let's talk about the relationship.

Claudia Black:
 No one wants to talk about the relationship except to you. I think what people really want to know about is all the...

Ben Browder:
 Cool things.

Claudia Black:
 Exactly.

CLAUDIA & BEN SIMULTANEOUSLY:
 Cue the cool stuff.


[ Well, according to cc:, that's what they were supposed to say; actually, Ben says "Cue the cool things", and Claud says, "Cue the cool stuff." I love it when he messes up, hehe. ]


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T		 //COOL STUFF CLIPS:

1:25 minutes of miscellaneous "Cool Stuff" Clips, about one every 4 seconds.

IDB's try to enter Moya ( Through The Looking Glass )
Br'nee's 'death' ( Bone To Be Wild )
John: "What the hell am I looking at?"

John explores Moya's subpassage to the birthing chamber ( They've Got A Secret )
Alien bounty hunter with 'glowing eyes' ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
Sand dweller ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
Aeryn 'blows away' Maldis' psychic 'Trader' ( Picture if You Will )
Chi in 'Clan' drag ( Taking The Stone )
DRD Showdown ( They've Got A Secret )
Map Crystal shatters ( DNA Mad Scientist )
Homecoming by four weapon packin pissed off crewmates ( Family Ties )
John takes John back into the orb ( My Three Crichtons )
Gahv ( Won't Get Fooled Again )
Parasite Rygel ( Beware Of Dog )
John blows Gahv away ( Won't Get Fooled Again )
Showdown on the Zelbinion ( PK Tech Girl )
John: "They spit fire? How come nobody tells me they spit fire?!"

Sheyang takes a fireball shot at Aeryn ( PK Tech Girl )
Vorc transforms ( Beware Of Dog )
Close on Plakavoid ( The Ugly Truth )
Natira ( Liars, Guns & Money Trilogy )
Chiana fends off the Metallites ( Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These )
D'Argo gets a look at a Calcivore, up close ( Bone To Be Wild )
M'Lee: "I must eat!"

Rygel expresses his distaste for John ( Premiere )
D'Argo 'stuns' John ( Premiere )
John: "What is the 'matter'... with you people?!"

Tavlek withdrawal symptoms ( Throne For A Loss )
Snow White ( Thank God It's Friday, Again )
Vocarian Blood Tracker ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
The Hand Of Friendship joins Crais with Talyn ( Mind The Baby )
Stark saves John ( The Hidden Memory )
Cool background alien ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
Sand Dwellers ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
Blood Tracker ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
DRD Search ( Beware of Dog )
Zhaan 'disappears' ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
Matala gets hers ( Back, and Back, and Back, To The Future )
Countdown to a close call ( PK Tech Girl )
Pilot: "Twenty..."
John: "...baby, baby, baby"
Pilot: "Ten..."
Aeryn: "Hurry!"
Pilot: "Five..."
Gilina: "Got it!"
John: "Got it!"

Alien experiment ( DNA Mad Scientist )
Chiana ( unknown ep )
Alien experiment (DNA Mad Scientist )
The Penultimate Moment: D'Argo's version ( The Ugly Truth )
Tavlek confrontation, on planet ( Throne For A Loss )
DNA reversal of fortune ( DNA Mad Scientist )
Aeryn and Metalla go at it ( Back, and Back, and Back, To The Future )
Alien worm therapy ( Thank God It's Friday, Again. )
Zhaan and Stark rock our world in Unity ( The Locket )
Zhaan gives John a lil kiss ( Premiere )
Alien sex, Natira and Scorpius ( Liars, Guns & Money )
Zhaan 'shines' on D'Argo ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
John frolics with Jena ( Look At The Princess, Part 3: The Maltese Crichton )
Get's close to Loranna ( Rhapsody In Blue )
D'Argo kisses 'Lolaan' ( They've Got A Secret )
John gets a kiss from a stranger ( Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss )
Natira shows her 'claws' ( Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B )
Scorpy pops his cork ( Liars, Guns & Money )
John & Gilina 'bond' ( PK Tech Girl )
Aeryn practices dead lifting ( PK Tech Girl )
Aeryn: "Sorry, for interrupting."

Following Tahleen into the shrine ( Rhapsody In Blue )
John works out a problem ( They've Got A Secret )
John embraces his daughter ( Look At The Princess, Part 3: The Maltese Crichton )
Zhaan ( ep unknown )
Durka ( PK Tech Girl )
Royal Planet, the girls at the lake ( Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss )
John searches for Chiana ( Durka Returns )
Aeryn experiment ( DNA Mad Scientist )
The jump pit ( Taking The Stone )
Aeryn takes a shot at Namtar ( DNA Mad Scientist )
Bounty Hunter madness ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
D'Argo gets 'stunned' ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )
John 'feeds the worm' ( Thank God It's Friday, Again )
Close up on Luxan Hyper Rage ( Thank God It's Friday, Again. )
Moya comes in for a 'landing' ( I, E.T. )
Bekhesh ( Throne For A Loss )
Moya initiates Starburst ( ep unknown )
Sheyang vessel takes a shot ( PK Tech Girl )
Pilot on a clamshell ( ep unknown )
Teurac on main screen ( PK Tech Girl )
Sheyangs Fire missles ( PK Tech Girl )
Zhaan and Liko take on Maldis ( That Old Black Magic )
Maldis tries to take out John ( That Old Black Magic )
Maldis gets 'disbursed' ( That Old Black Magic )
Zhaan takes Maldis from behind ( That Old Black Magic )
John records a message to a friend ( That Old Black Magic )
John gets 'sucked' into Maldis' realm ( That Old Black Magic )
Crais 'misses' Maldis ( That Old Black Magic )
Maldis morphs ( That Old Black Magic )
Moya's near miss with a Nebari vessel ( Durka Returns )
( No idea )
Maurauder ( Exodus From Genesis )
Moya kicks Durka out ( Durka Returns )
( Unknown planetscape )
Maldis 'handles' D'Argo and Aeryn ( That Old Black Magic )
Hittin' the puppet ( Back, and Back, and Back, to the Future )
Zhaan kicks Maldis butt ( That Old Black Magic )
D'Argo and Rygel confer ( DNA Mad Scientist )
Moya orbits an outpost ( DNA Mad Scientist )
Namtar devolved ( DNA Mad Scientist )
In the module, upclose and personal, with a Tavlek ( Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These )
John: "You know... flossing could help you with that gingivitis."

END COOL STUFF CLIPS//




PART II

"...imaginative, sexy and visceral" - SAN DIEGO TRIBUNE




A change of venue on return from commercial break. Ben and Claudia stand inside Pilot's Den on a darknened sound stage. As Ben begins speaking, the lights 'do not' come up.



Ben Browder:
 And as you can tell by the critics kind words, we're obviously struck a chord with-- lights?

Claudia Black:
 Oh, pilot, the lights-- up.

Ben Browder:
 Lights! Pilot, we're on TV.



Lights come up, close on Pilot, who does 'not' look too good on video.


PILOT:
 Oh, I can't remember what you wanted me to say.

Ben Browder:
 Tell them about Moya.

PILOT:
 Ah, well, ah... she's a Leviathan, ah... biomechanoid... ah...

Ben Browder:
 What Pilot's trying to say is that Moya is half mechanical, half biological, and she's a beautiful ship. Why don't we show them some clips?

PILOT:
 Yes, that would be easier.


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Exterior CGIs of Moya surfin' the cosmos...



Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] Leviathans are peaceful beasts of burden. They're designed without weapons.

END 'MOYA' CLIPS//

//RUN 'PILOT' CLIPS:



Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Each Leviathan has a Pilot aboard as their lifetime navigator and caretaker. Ours is called, "Pilot".



Pilot: [O.V. dialogue from DNA Mad Scientist on clip from "Out of Their Minds"] "When one of my species is bonded to a Leviathan, we give our lives to the service of others. Ship first. Then those who travel aboard her."

Pilot continues to explain his purpose to John ( DNA Mad Scientist )

John: "No matter what those aboard do to you?"
Pilot: "My species is incapable of space flight on our own. If we wish to journey beyond our home planet, this... is the tradeoff we make... for the chance to see the galaxy. I consider it... a perfectly equitable arrangement."


END PILOT CLIPS//


Claudia Black:
 Obviously, Moya couldn't survive without Pilot's loyal service. He's always calm, the voice of reason.

PILOT:
 That's not strictly true. I'm not always calm.


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Pilot freaks! "The Way We Weren't"

D'Argo: "Pilot!"
Aeryn: "John."

( Pilot slams D'Argo and John to the deck with one claw while throttling Aeryn with another, then activating a control, vents the chamber)



END PILOT CLIPS//




Claudia Black:
 So, Pilot, some bad, hair days, huh?

PILOT:
 Some were Moya protecting her unborn child. Have you told them about Talyn?


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Moya gives birth to Talyn ( The Hidden Memory )



Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] Moya gave birth to a baby named Talyn. It turned out to be a hybrid - part Leviathan, part Peacekeeper warship.

Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] It was not an easy birth.



Chiana flees the explosion in the birthing chamber.

Pilot: "The offsprings free. It's free!"
Chiana: "How's Moya?"
Pilot: "She's okay. We're okay!"
Pilot: "Look."
Chiana: "That's Moya's child?"
Rygel: "But it's covered in weapons."





Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] That's right kids, the Peacekeepers had designed a Leviathan gunship, emphasis on "gun".



Talyn's Main Gun rises from it's turret ( The Ugly Truth ):

Chiana: "What's Talyn doing?"


Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] Young boy... dangerous toy.



( Talyn blows away the Plokavian vessel with one shot. Maybe they should'a named him 'Jessie'? )


TALYN CLIPS END//




Ben and Claudia maneuver down a corridor set.


Claudia Black:
 So, basically Talyn is a confused kid in need of some guidance.

Ben Browder:
 Unfortunately, what he got was Captain Bialar Crais, renegade Peacekeeper.


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Aeryn's version of events ( "The Ugly Truth" ):

Aeryn: "He's taking over Talyn!"
Crais: "Leave my ship now!"
Aeryn: "We have to stay and explain is to the Plokavian authorities!"
John: "No, Aeryn, we have to leave-- now!"
Aeryn: "I can't let you do this!"
Crais: "Go!"


Talyn maneuvers deeper into the asteroid field ( "Family Ties" )

Zhaan: "Talyn is not mature enough to Starburst! If you attempt this, you will damage him! You may die!"
Crais: "Thank you, Priest, but I know that. We'll be fine... where no one can follow us. You... or the Peacekeepers."
Aeryn: "Crais, you listen to me, now! You stop what you're doing and you leave the ship, now!"
Crais: "Officer Sun... if by some strange quirk we manage to encounter each other again, I hope that our relationship... away from the Peacekeepers... will be a much... different one next time."
Aeryn: "You cannot take a child from it's mother!"
Crais: "You forget... it was done to me... and it was done to you. Goodbye, Officer Sun."


Talyn starbursts ( "The Ugly Truth" ):

Pilot: "Talyn's going into Starburst!"




Claudia Black:
 [O.V.] Banished by the Peacekeepers.

CRAIS/TALYN CLIPS END//


Ben and Claudia make their way back into Command.


Claudia Black:
 ...and with nowhere else to go, Crais fled aboard Talyn. But over time he's proven to be an ally... or so Aeryn thinks.

Ben Browder:
 Why do you make it sound like Aeryn likes Crais?

Claudia Black:
 There's a lot of history between them. It's a very complex relationship.

Ben Browder:
 Relationship. No, they don't have a relationship. Crichton and Aeryn have a relationship, and that's what we're supposed to be talkin' about.

Claudia Black:
 All right. Fine. Over time Crichton and Aeryn developed a very solid working partnership.


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Cleaning up a little problem ( "Beware of Dog" )

John: "Cover me!"

John & Aeryn: ( simultaneously ) "Sorry about the mess."



END JOHN & AERYN CLIPS//




Ben Browder:
 Partnership. I like the partnership part, but that's not what I'm talkin' about and you know it. Roll this.


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Working out another strange 'erp' custom. ( "PK Tech Girl" )

John: "Haven't you ever just clicked with a guy?"
Aeryn: "What?! 'Clicked'?!"
John: "Yeah, you know... found a guy attractive."
Aeryn: "Yes, but it... I didn't let it-- In the beginning I found you... interesting."


END JOHN & AERYN CLIPS//






Claudia Black:
 Okay, so she finds him interesting.

Ben Browder:
 Interesting? Lawdy, lawdy, Miss Claudie! She wants him! Watch this.


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Hot and bothered close encounters ( "The Flax" )

John: "Whoa! You okay?"
Aeryn: "Yes, you?"
John: "Yeah, just... peachy."
Aeryn: ( smiling ) "You comfortable? Can I get you a pillow?"

END JOHN & AERYN CLIPS//




Claudia Black:
 All right, so there's a little chemistry between them.

Ben Browder:
 Chemistry... you don't want to admit it, do you? They are meant for each other. Remember the hair scene? Roll the hair scene.

Claudia Black:
 Wait! Do you remember how it ended?

Ben Browder:
 Doesn't matter how it ended. They were made for each other.


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Hot and steamy close encounters in the Farscape module ( "Look at the Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss" )

Aeryn: "Would you like... to learn how to do this, or are you content to continually display your ineptitude."
John: "My ineptitude? You mean my improvisation, the kind that bails your sorry milita-- I'm sorry ( laughs ) I'm sorry... what's that smell?"

( John gently buries his face into Aeryn's hair at the base of her neck, inhaling ... appreciatively ) -- THE single sexiest scene I've yet encountered on television unfolds here --

Aeryn: ( tensing ) Wh-what?
John: Your hair... it smells--
Aeryn: Zhaan gave me something.
John: All right... it smells good... I like it.

( probably the combination of his husky voice and the way he nuzzles her hair is what makes it for me... * sigh * )

Aeryn: ( relaxing ) Well, it's not for you to like.
John: Oh. Then... what's it for?
Aeryn: For me to like.
John: And you don't like... that I like it?
Aeryn: ( pausing ) Personal indulgences can fracture a small crew.
John: I would never tell them... that you scented your hair.

( And.... they kiss. * sigh * )

Aeryn: Mm... no!

( And... Aeryn bolts! )

John: What? Aeryn... Aeryn, no!
Aeryn: No... no!
John: Aeryn, wait!
Aeryn: I will not be a slave to your hormones!
John: My hormones! Hey, I was lips, you were tongue!


END JOHN & AERYN CLIPS//




Claudia Black:
 Mmm.

Ben Browder:
 So--

Claudia Black:
 Hmm?

Ben Browder:
 You're gonna try to tell me that they're not meant for each other?

Claudia Black:
 How can they possibly be? What about the fact that he's completely insane?

Ben Browder:
 That's not John's fault.

Claudia Black:
 Oh, you're not gonna blame it on--

Ben Browder:
 Yes... Scorpius.

Claudia Black:
 Scorpius.


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PK Skipper changes out the 'rod' ( "Bone To Be Wild" )

END SCORPIUS CLIPS//




Ben Browder:
 Write this down: S-C-O-R-P-I-U-S. Scorpius.


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Scorpius interrogates John in the Aurora Chair ( "Nerve" ):



Scorpius: "What species are you? And who are you working for?"
John: "Get... stuffed."
Scorpy gives the 'go ahead' to PK Barbie.
John: "No... please."


END SCORPIUS CLIPS//






PART III





On the set of the "Maintenance Bay", Rygel enters on thronesled, peering about to confirm that there is, as yet, no sign of Ben or Claudia.


RYGEL:
 Whatever you've heard, forget it. Frelling lies. This show is about me, Dominar Rygel The Sixteenth, ruler of over six hundred billion loyal Hynerian subjects. Idolized, revered... adored! Watch!


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Rygel briefs everyone on his sleeping habits ( "Rhapsody In Blue" ):



Rygel: "I like my wives pregnant, and my ships cold to the touch. That way my feet stay warm, and my slumber is uninterrupted."
John: "Wives plural?"
Rygel: "Mmm."

( John high-five's Rygel. )

John: "Big fella."




Rygel's ultimate moment ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These" ):

Durka: "When I am through with you Dominar... death himself will pray for you."
Rygel: "I thought you might say something like that."

( Rygel chuckles and 'dispatches' Durka with a high voltage connection. )


The term "Durka Head" appears in 'Scaper vocabulary ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These" )

( Durka's head rolls across the floor of the Center Chamber. )

Rygel: "Start acting like professionals... that's what we do to people who don't."
Chiana: "Good work, Ryge."



Rygel's head gets a swellin' ( "The Hidden Memory" ):

D'Argo: "Rygel, you are needed on Command."
Rygel: "I am?! What for?"
D'Argo: "A quick decision may be required if the Peacekeepers arrive."
Rygel: "Hmm, a quick and correct decision... I accept this vital responsibility!"


END RYGEL CLIPS//




RYGEL:
 I want a close up.



Camera zooms in a few inches.


RYGEL:
 Call that a close up?



Camera zooms in on Rygel's right moustache.


RYGEL:
 ( squawking ) Too close!



Camera zooms back for a nice head shot.


RYGEL:
 ( sighs ) Amateurs. So, who do you really think runs Moya? Me! Who do the others turn to when vexed by a problem? Me! Who has the biggest--



Ben enters unannounced, grabbing the runaway Hynerian by the shoulder.


Ben Browder:
 Rygel--

RYGEL:
 ( yelps )

Ben Browder:
 What are you doin'?

RYGEL:
Nothing, nothing.



Ben casually steps around behind Rygel, careful not to step on the Puppeteers on the floor around Rygel ( hehe )


Ben Browder:
 What kind of lies are you tellin'?

RYGEL:
 Ah... um, the right kind.

Ben Browder:
 My boy, Buckweat. Biggest liar in the Uncharted Territories.

RYGEL:
 ( gasping indignantly )


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Uh-oh, evidence to the contrary ( "Family Ties" )



Zhaan: "You went there to sell us out, Rygel."
Rygel: "You bet your shiney blue ass I did-- "



Rygel goes through the goodies ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Rygel: ( gasping ) "Can I have this?! Can this be mine?!" ( chuckles ) "We can all have anything we want now, right?"


Lessons in Hynerian biology ( "Premiere" )

( The now familiar high-pitched squeal of Hynerian gas passing. )

Zhaan: ( helium voice) "Rygel?"
John: ( helium voice ) "What just happened?"
Rygel: ( helium voice ) "It's a perfectly natural bodily function" ( sniffs deeply ) "And it's odorless."
D'Argo: ( helium voice ) "So your loyal subjects tell you!"
John: ( helium voice ) "You fart helium?!"
Rygel: ( helium voice ) "Sometimes... when I'm nervous--"



Friends of Rygel speak out ( "Throne For A Loss" )

John: "Rygel's an obnoxious gas-bag, and who's gonna shell out for that?"

( Rygel chimes in from the bag. )

Rygel: "He's right, I'm unloved, unwanted, unpopular--

( Bekhesh kicks the crap outta him. )

Rygel: "unconscious..."


END RYGEL CLIPS//




RYGEL:
 ( outraged ) I have agents, I have lawyers!



Claudia enters with a message for Rygel.


Claudia Black:
 Rygel, Spielberg on line one.



Cackling happily, Rygel hovers off set.


Ben Browder:
 Puppets are so gullible. So, what were we talking about?

Claudia Black:
 Scorpius.

Ben Browder:
 Scorpius. Evil, ugly, mutant, half-breed, Peacekeeper genius who rose through the ranks to wrest control of Captain Crais's ship. Did I say evil?

Claudia Black:
 You did.

Ben Browder:
 Good.


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Crais's downfall ( "Family Ties" ):



Scorpius: "You are unfit for duty by any measure. I personally intend to see you stripped of rank and office.
Crais: "So you can take command of my ship?"
Scorpius: "I already have."

( Crais attacks Scorpius. )

Crais: "Get off my ship!"

( Scorpius beats the crap out of him, but in his anger loses that cultured PK tone, lapsing into his Scarran vocal quality. )

Scorpius: "Why must you force me... to display my physical superiority to your kind as well?!"


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] You see, Crichton and his module have navigated a wormhole and Scorpius wants that knowledge and he doesn't care how he gets it.



The module navigates a wormhole on the way back to 'earth' ( "A Human Reaction" )

Crais and Scorpius bargain for the possession of a certain human astronaut ( "Nerve" ):

Crais: "Give me Crichton now, and I'll get you all the information he possesses"
Scorpius: "Torture alone would be ineffective. Only the Aurora Chair can extract the information we need."

Crichton is captured by the PK's, thanks to Scorpius ( "Nerve" ):

Scorpius: "Sieze him."


Scorpius sieves Crichton's brain, with PK Barbie's assistance ( "Nerve" ):

Scorpius: "Segment his mind, as many layers as it takes..."
John: "No... no... please..."

Scorpius: "Crichton will tell us."
John: "You stay the hell out of my mind, you fr--"


SCORPIUS CLIPS END//




Claudia Black:
 Unbeknownst to any of Crichton's shipmates, Scorpius had actually implanted a neurochip into Crichton's head during a brutal interrogation.


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That all important 'bit' of information ( "Beware of Dog" )



Scorpy implants the chip containing the neural clone, sometime during the events of Nerve/The Hidden Memory.


END CHIP/SCORPY CLONE CLIPS//




Claudia Black:
 His friends save him, but during most of the second season they have no idea that the chip is in his head, slowly taking over his brain, and most charming personality.


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John, hallucinating Scorpy, takes a shot at him ( "Beware of Dog" ):



Aeryn: "What the frell was that for?!"
John: "It was nothin', just clearin' my head."


Scorpius keeps John company ( "Crackers Don't Matter" ):

Scorpius: "You're out of your mind, John."
John: "I know..."


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Images of Scorpius would pop up, torturing and confusing him.



A 'real' moment with Scorpy ( "Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think" ):

John: "Why don't you leave me alone, Scorpy?"
Scorpius: "Because the wormhole technology locked in your brain, makes you... to my knowledge, unique in the galaxy."
John: ( whispering ) "Unique."
Scorpius: "And unique... is always valuable."
John: ( whispering ) "Unique, unique..."


END CHIP/SCORPY CLONE CLIPS//




Ben Browder:
 And through all this insanity there is one thing which kept John sane.

Claudia Black:
 His relationship with Aeryn.

Ben Browder:
 Yes. You see, of all the relationships onboard Moya none is more intense, complex or as frustrating as John and Aeryn.

Claudia Black:
 Well, my character was born to be a soldier. She believes that emotions are baggage-- something that can get you killed. And then one day along comes this... man, this Human, who speaks a language she does not understand. It's a language about caring, about trusting, about-

Ben Browder:
 - love.



Ben and Claudie confusing viewers with that whole slipping "in and out of character" thing. Which I LOVED!


Claudia Black:
 Mm..

Ben Browder:
 Mm..

Claudia Black:
 It'll never work.

Ben Browder:
 It's never that easy.

Claudia Black:
 Never will be.

Ben Browder:
 But it is... damn interesting.


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Intense moments, all ... ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 1: A Not So Simple Plan" )

Aeryn: "What--"
John: "If Scorpius gets me..."
Aeryn: "I know... sh-shoot you."
John: "No. No, no, no... shoot him. Look, we have talk."
Aeryn: "Not here, you'll get us both killed."
John: "A-Aeryn... I have to tell you how I feel, I have to tell you."
Aeryn: "No you don't."
John: "I do."
Aeryn: ( softly ) "No you don't."



A kiss before dying ( "The Flax" ).


The 'morning after' ( "A Human Reaction" Euro-Scene ):

John: ( waking up ) "Aeryn... um... about last night."
Aeryn: "Yes, it's fine, John. It's just not top priority right now."


John's frustration level tops out ( "Picture If You Will" ):

John: "Are you always gonna do this?"
Aeryn: "Do what?"
John: "Keep the entire world at a distance... keep everybody away?!"



Aeryn comes close to asking John for help ( "DNA Mad Scientist" )

Aeryn: "I'm so scared."


Tussle in the desert ( "Till The Blood Runs Clear" ):

Rorf: "Is this your... female?"
Aeryn: "I am no one's female!



John's PO'ed ( again ) ( "Mind The Baby" ):

John: "Oh, and when exactly is that gonna change, Aeryn?!"
Aeryn: "I told you you wouldn't like what I had to say!"
John: "I don't!"


Parting is such sweet sorrow ( "Mind The Baby" ):

John: "Last time we stood here... we didn't say goodbye."
Aeryn: "It wasn't goodbye as it turned out."
John: "Here's hoping history repeats itself."


END "YOUNG ALIENS IN LOVE" CLIPS//




Ben Browder:
 You see, that's what people wanna see-- passion, romance, a great love story; Romeo and Juliet.

Claudia Black:
 It ended so well for them.

Ben Browder:
 This could be different.

Claudia Black:
 How so?



Ben doesn't have an answer, but he does have a lovely 'knowing' smile for her ( and us ).


Claudia Black:
 Don't tell me there's a happy ending.


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Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] We've barely started.




CGI, forward portal of Nebari vessel spirals open for Durka ( "Durka Returns" )

Farscape "Classic Line" ( "Premiere" )
John: "Freeze!"
PK Soldiers: "Down! Get down!"

( John squeezes off a shot, it richochets off the wall behind him. Reversing the small pulse pistol he fires a couple more 'warning shots'. )

John: "Don't move! Or I'll fill you full of... little yellow bolts of light!"

John gets 'zapped' ( "Back, and Back, and Back, to the Future" )
Armed and deadly trio, only on a count of three ( "Through The Looking Glass" )
Assassin's attempt to vaporize the 'pretender' ( "Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss" )
Chiana gets a nasty scare ( "Beware of Dog" )
Moya 'slingshots' ( "Premiere" )
John: [O.V. -- dialogue from "My Three Crichtons" ] "You wanna be the next to mess with me? Well, get in line!"

Aeryn and John 'drop in' on Pilot ( "The Way We Weren't" )
The 'judge' ( "Dream A Little Dream" / "RE: Union" )
Chiana takes care of B'Soog's bro ( "Home On The Remains" )
Zhaan's silenced ( "Dream A Little Dream" / "RE: Union" )
Keedva Olympics ( "Home On The Remains" )
Zhaan takes exception with Aeryn ( "Home On The Remains" )
Aeryn: No!
John, after takin' his Wheaties ( "Throne For A Loss" )
John takes out a nuisance ( "Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think" )
John takes a shot at himself ( "My Three Crichtons" )
John makes his way through a crumbling corridor ( "My Three Crichtons" )
Staanz has a great day ( "The Flax" )
Staanz: "It doesn't get better than this, baby!"

EXT. CGI, Litigara ( "Dream A Little Dream" / "RE: Union" )
Little known Delvian facts ( "Bone To Be Wild" )
EXT. CGI, Moya navigating the five pulsars ( "Crackers Don't Matter" )
Zhaan in full metal pollination ( "Home On The Remains" )
CGI, Nilaam passes back Moya's youth ( "Vitas Mortis" )
CGI, Prowler in flight ( "" )
Chiana makes her final farewells from Command ( "Home On The Remains" )
A moment for John & Aeryn ( "" Euro-Scene )
Aeryn: "But you say that you want to go back to this place, Earth... a place that you tell me has so much disease and suffering."
John: ( shrugging ) "Well, you guys don't have chocolate."

Chiana takes out B'Soog ( "Home On The Remains" )
Chi surprises John ( "Durka Returns" )
Zhaan goes mental on her lawyer -- who can't relate? ( "Dream A Little Dream" / "RE: Union" )
Aeryn & Long Gun & Tony Tilse = Gorgeous Moments ( "Vitas Mortis" )
John reads himself the riot act ( "My Three Crichtons" )
John: "No, I am widening my perspective! That is what I do, that's what makes me, me!"

'Captain Deficient' ( "Crackers Don't Matter" )
EXT. CGI, Royal Planet defense system takes out an innocent cargo hauler. ( "Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think" )
Inside the cargo hauling, John wigs out ( "Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think" )
Chiana gets 'bagged' ( "Dream A Little Dream" / "RE: Union" )
John & Aeryn located a 'bagged' hynerian ( "Durka Returns" )
DRD's work to conceal a 'secret' ( "They've Got A Secret" )
Nilaam reads D'Argo's innermost heart... or maybe it's his spleen ( "Vitas Mortis" )
The Proprieter ( "Premiere" )
Aeryn & John ( "My Three Crichtons" )
John: "God, another critter."

Gross moment ( "Home On The Remains" )
Close on Keedva ( "Home On The Remains" )
B'Soog, species unknown, but he 'needs' a hat ( "Home On The Remains" )
Jotheb ( "Throne For A Loss" )
Nilaam, before the ritual ( "Vitas Mortis" )
Nilaam's attendant, species unknown, he's ah... he's ah... he's green ( "Vitas Mortis" )
Armed trio confront IDB's on 'Red' Moya ( "Through The Looking Glass" )
John finds more than his recorder in Rygel's quarters on 'Blue' Moya ( "Through The Looking Glass" )
A suspicious 'helping-hand' ( "Dream A Little Dream" / "RE: Union" )
John rides the 'freedom trail' on 'Yellow' Moya ( "Through The Looking Glass" )
John's Tavlek style showdown ( "Throne For A Loss" )
John: "Freeze!"
Bekhesh: "You didn't kill 'em."
John: "Guess I'm not that kind of a guy."


END MISC FARSCAPE EP CLIPS//






PART IV

Back in Pilot's Den, Ben stands atop the console, Pilot crouched in the alcove behind him.



Ben Browder:
 All right, you're almost there, you almost have everything you need to know to start Season Three. Pilot, are you ready?

PILOT:
 Yep.

Ben Browder:
 Okay, the evil Scorpius has planted the chip inside John Crichton's head. He's goin' nuts... he's hallucinating Scorpy all over the place. D'Argo is off lookin' for his son, and Aeryn is.... You know what? Put away the pens and pencils, sit back and enjoy. Pilot, roll the tape.


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John has an 'identity crisis' ( "Die Me Dichotomy" ):

John: "I am in control, I am in control of me!"
Aeryn: "Stop it, stop it!"
John: "I can't!"
Aeryn: "There's no one here, John! You made youself bleed!"
John: "Scorpy! I see him, I see him!"
Aeryn: "Well, fight it!"
Scorpius: "She cannot see us, John."
John: "Aeryn... what do you see... in the mirror... what do you see?"
Aeryn: "There is no mirror. There is no Scorpius... look! You must confront your fears... with strength."


John's confronted with his fear ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These" ):

Scorpius: ( over comms display ) "John... I have Ka D'Argo's son. Surrender to me... or the boy dies." )


D'Argo & Aeryn ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These" ):

D'Argo: "Last time I saw my son was the night my wife was murdered. I sent him away to be safe and... he ends up a slave."
Aeryn: "And if you hadn't, he'd be dead by now, D'Argo. All he'll care about is that you came back for him."


Transport pod, not containing Crichton, returns to Moya ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These" ):

Pilot: "There's a ship approaching."


Transport pod docks and a new family member arrives ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These" ):

Jothee: "Father?"
D'Argo: "Jothee... Jothee! It's you, it's really you!"
Jothee: "Father... you're choking me!"
D'Argo: "How did you escape Scorpius?"
Jothee: "He let me go."
D'Argo: "He... what?"
Aeryn: "W-why?"


John says his farewells ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" ):

John: ( over comms display ) "This chip in my head, this chip... part of me, now... wants it to control me. So, I'm gonna go to Scorpy and have him take it out. 'Least by swapping myself for Jothee, I can do you some good."


John's worst nightmare becomes reality ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 1: A Not So Simple Plan" ):

Scorpius: "You have no idea how patient I have been for this moment."
John: "Since I got you here, tell me... what the frell did you put in my head?"

( Clip from "Beware of Dog" -- Scorpy plants the chip )

Scorpius: "A tiny chip. A tiny seed that's been growing in your brain. Touching every aspect of your... personality..."


D'Argo and Aeryn lay out Plan B ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Aeryn: "Are you ready to go down now and save Crichton?"
D'Argo: "Moya should prove a distraction" [ O.V. on non-linear clips of Rygel & Zhaan, Chiana, Jothee, and Pilot ] "And we go down there, burst through the front doors and storm the place. It's what we do best."


Aeryn attempts another recruit ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Crais: "How long has Scorpius held Crichton?"
Aeryn: "Four arns."
Crais: "Then I recommend you bring down a basket, without any holes... so that Crichton's liquid remains are not lost. He's already dead, Aeryn."


Natira 'inspects' Scorpy's prize ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Natira: "Scorpius, tell me something. Why are you so interested in this Human? There's nothing impressive about the species."
Scorpius: "Try not to move so much!"
John: "It's kinda hard not to flinch here, Scorpy, with Frau Blucher ticklin' my prostate."


Aeryn makes a last minute plea ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Aeryn: [O.V. ext. CGI] "Crais, I'm coming aboard Talyn."

Aeryn: "Look, Crais, we're all going to die if you don't help us."
Crais: "Will other lives be lost in this attack?"
Aeryn: "You can have anything you want, anything."
Crais: "Aeryn Sun... are you... offering yourself?"


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] So, while John's friends were planning his rescue, Scorpius was planning to have a chat with the neuroclone in John's head.



Scorpy 'preps' John's brain ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

John: "Oh, don't stop now, Scorpy. Roll me over and baste the other side."
Natira: "Are you going to take out the implant?"
Scorpius: "No... I'm going in."


Scorpius visits with John 'inside' ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Clone: "This is a place inside your memory, John. Yes-- we're inside your brain... and, no... I'm not Scorpius, but he is."
Scorpius: "Hello, John. Have you obtained the wormhole information?"
Clone: "I believe I've burrowed far enough."
Scorpius: "Is he ready to have the chip removed?"
Clone: "Oh, yes."


Jothee and D'Argo have a heart-to-heart ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Jothee: "You don't expect me to help you save Crichton do you?"
D'Argo: "I thought you would want to."
Jothee: "Listen! I don't want to shame you, but I am not going back to that planet. I only just got my freedom back, I'm not gonna risk losing it again."


Seven Samurai to the rescue, the Transport departs Moya ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Zhaan: "May the goddess be with you all." [ but hey, she's aboard the Transport, so what the frell? ]


Natira 'covets' John, er... sorta ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Natira: "Scorpius wants your brain... he said nothing about your eyes. So soft...

( But she's interrupted by a timely arrival. )

Natira: What the frell is that?!"
John: "That's Moya."

( Moya does a 'drive-by', taking out the bank of windows in Natira's lair. Chiana, on Command, gives us her best 'war-whoop'! ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" ) )

Pilot: "You're clear to land, Rygel. Get in there now!"

Rygel brings the transport in for a spectacular landing outside the Depository ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Aeryn, D'Argo and Bekhesh storm through the front doors ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] His friends have no choice but to blow the hell out of everything... to get John out before Scorpy could extract his chip.



Showdown in the corridor ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Scorpius: "Don't shoot Crichton. I need him alive."


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] They should'a got there sooner, 'cause John's mind was already a mess.



John: ( anguished screams )
Scorpius: "Leave him."

Aeryn, Bekesh and D'Argo arrive in the nick ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

John: ( Scorpius: "Come to me... come to me." )
Aeryn: "Go down to the depository, hide in a container. That should protect us from Talyn's attack."
John: "I'm gonna go to Scorpius."
Aeryn: "Frell you are."

( Aeryn knocks John cold. )

Aeryn: "D'Argo, carry him!"


Building to the final moments before Talyn razes the Depository ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )
Aeryn: "This way!"

Braca: "They're in the depositing room!"

Stark: "Zhaan, we've got company!"

Zhaan: "Rygel! Rygel!"

Rygel: "Almost there, Zhaan."

Aeryn: "Right, into the container."

Bekhesh: "I didn't plan on becoming a deposit."

Zhaan: "Let's go! Come on!"

Crais: "Destroy the entire building."

Pilot: "Talyn firing in 15 microts."

Crais: "Locking on now."

Pilot: "Ten, nine,"

Jothee: "All right, they're in! Let's go, go, go!"

D'Argo: "Move, move, move!"

Pilot: "eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."

Crais: "Fire."

( Talyn takes the Depository down with a few random shots. )



Plan B, semi-successful ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

Rygel: "Cheer up! We got Crichton back, and Aeryn and D'Argo and Jothee..."

Chiana: "Perfect."



While D'Argo gets the 'bad news' ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

John: ( Scorpius: "John, John, John..." ) Shhh.... he's here, he um... he's here, and um... he blames me. Blames me for killing Scorpius. So, I've been, I been trying to... but I can't, I can't--
D'Argo: To what, John?!
John: D'Argo... kill me. D'Argo, please... kill me.


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] Luckily, nobody ever listens to a damn thing that John says. Instead they found a medical facility, where they could remove the chip from John's head.



A visit to a Medical Facility seemed in order ( "Die Me Dichotomy" )

Grunchlk: "Splendid news for the patient. I think... I found a biological match. I've got three specimens, that's the best I can do."
Zhaan: "There are over five-thousand different species frozen here. This is an abomination against nature."
Aeryn: "I mean, they're already dead, anyway."
Zhaan: "No, Aeryn, they're still alive."
Grunchlk: "Ah, that's a technicality."
John: "No, I'm not accepting anything from someone who's alive."
Grunchlk: "They're all accident victims and the like. Hey, I mean, we freeze 'em a microt before death 'cause the parts last longer that way."
Zhaan: "You have interrupted the course of nature."
Grunchlk: "None of 'em would survive restoration. That is the Doc's rules for accepting a donor."



David Kemper demonstrates the "It's always darkest before it goes completely black" theory ( "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B" )

'John': "No matter what happens, you have worked your way... into my heart."
Aeryn: "You've shown me that I have one."
'John': "I love you."
Aeryn: "I love you too."
Clone: "Mm. You are so... my girl."




John's 'metamorphosis' ( "Die Me Dichotomy")

'John': "There's no Scorpius here..."
Clone: "Mmm..."
'John': "There's only me."




The clone 'escapes' ( "Die Me Dichotomy" )

Zhaan: "Crichton.... Stark he is no more... his body shelters some horrific evil. Crichton... Crichton is gone."




The greatest 'dog-fight' ever, ensues ( "Die Me Dichotomy")

Clone: "Yee haw!"

Clone: "John Crichton to Scorpius."
Aeryn: "You just called yourself John Crichton. Are you really John anymore?"
Clone: "Ah... little lady. How's the skull fracture?"
Aeryn: "Given no other choices, I will shoot you down."
Clone: "Oh... I doubt it."

Clone: "You really would shoot your friend down, wouldn't you?"
Aeryn: "You know the answer."
Clone: "Well then... lowering landing gear."

Clone: "Terribly sorry."

Aeryn: "Ejecting... now!"

Crais: "I suggest separate before touchdown!"

Clone: "Officer Sun, Su-Sun-Su--"

Clone/John: "Ah... didn't hurt much... Ahhh! "

John: "Aeryn-- Aeryn, can you comply?!"

Aeryn: "The harness is jammed!"

John: "You have to get out of the damn chair."

Aeryn: "I don't have any choice."

John: "Come on, please. Do something, do something."

Aeryn: "I hope you meant what you said in the Neural Cluster. I did."



And all our worst fears come to fruition as Aeryn hits the frozen lake and is dragged under. ( "Die Me Dichotomy")

John: "No!"

D'Argo: "Aeryn!"

John: "God... what have I done?"



But at least she gets a nice funeral. ( "Die Me Dichotomy")

Rygel: "Be at peace, Aeryn."


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] For all of them-- her oldest comrades and her newest friends, it was time to mourn...



Zhaan: "May the Goddess sanctify your spirit."
Stark: "Ahmet."


Ben Browder:
 [O.V.] ...and a time to come together.



Wrapping up ( "Die Me Dichotomy")

Stark: "Everyone else is preparing to move on."
Zhaan: "I know. Tragedy often heralds flight."
Stark: "If you are in agreement, Pa'u Zhaan, it would be an honor and a pleasure... to share the future with you."



Tocot works his magic ( "Die Me Dichotomy")

John: [O.V.] "I want this chip out."

Grunchlk: "Are you sure you don't want your friends here?"
John: "No, I don't want 'em here."
Grunchlk: "After the Doc's cut the tendrils that have hijacked your brain..."

Tocot: "Speech... close to... neural implant."
John: "I'm gonna talk gibberish!"

Tocot: "Remove chip... then attempt... replace."

Tocot: "Oh."
Scorpius: "Hello, Doctor! So good to see you again."
Tocot: ( alarmed gasp )
Scorpius: "You no longer serve a purpose!"

( Death by Scorpy breath. )

Tocot: ( weak gasps )

Scorpius: "I only hope... the wormhole technology I've waited so patiently for, makes more sense."
John: ( garbled curses )

Scorpius: "I condemn you, John Crichton... to live. So that your thirst... for unfulfilled revenge... will consume you."
John: ( enraged scream )


END SEASON 2 WRAP CLIPS//



Ben sits on top of Pilot's console, one arm resting on raised knee. ( yep, that was a LONG run of clips, about 15 minutes -- why'nt we just watch the final four again? hehe )



Ben Browder:
 Man, talk about brain damage. The first two seasons of Farscape in a nut shell.

PILOT:
 Ben?

Ben Browder:
 Yeah?

PILOT:
 Aeryn-- is she really...?

Ben Browder:
 Ah-ah, ah! Shh!

PILOT:
 But--

Ben Browder:
 Hush!

PILOT:
 Ah.

Ben Browder:
 Hush-- We're out of time. But you're welcome to join us for the Season premiere of Farscape. From the cast and crew here in Sydney, Australia-- I'd like to thank you for joining us.





FADE TO BLACK











ROLL ENDING CREDITS








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